I love this SO MUCH. I'm reminded of a great book I read a few years ago called The Art of Gathering. (And now I'm off to order Leah's book.)
I live in a small town where there's not a lot of interesting things going on. There are interesting people though (some, lol), and my husband and I decided that we'll need to have more parties if we are to be able to stand staying here. I love hosting, and I'm a good host. But I'm always tempted to do just what you wrote (and what The Art of Gathering talks about too) and just sort of make sure it all "goes well," instead of being more intense and intentional about what (and who) the party is for.
Leah’s book is very readable/actionable. She always says she wants you to think in terms of what you can do in the next 2 weeks and to put the book down before you’re done and get to hosting your first thing.
Again, what I like about her approach is it’s malleable enough to fit your personality and community but thoughtful enough that the events will really have some substance and value.
Also I feel like my original comment sounds super snobby. I definitely desire to host more than "parties" with "interesting people." *eye roll at myself* I'm not a snobby person... I'm just *really* bored with where I live and that came out when I was writing that comment;)
Another vote for the art of gathering. somebody told me about this book 2 years ago and it completely revolutionized the way that I think about planning any kind of event. One thing the author of that book says is that 90% of what makes an event successful is the planning that goes in before hand.
I also learned some valuable lessons about hosting and hospitality from working in youth ministry. We used to teach youth that service is sometimes exhausting/stressful/painful for the one who serves… Sometimes that’s just the price of serving. Not always though. We recently hosted a gathering for our friends and it was a little bit exhausting but as time elapses from the event, the more grateful that I am that we made it happen and brought these people together.
One last thought to share—there was a fantastic post going around here at Thanksgiving about leaning into the drama instead of treating your friends and family as if they were disposable. I’ll link to it since I found it super helpful just with staying motivated to continue organizing in real life gatherings with the people we know. https://substack.com/home/post/p-152263331
Thanks for this post, Ben! I enjoyed it very much as well as Leah‘s book.
Instead of "project" I go by this line from Father Brown: "Like a true philosopher, Flambeau had no aim in his holiday; but, like a true philosopher, he had an excuse. He had a sort of half purpose, which he took just so seriously that its success would crown the holiday, but just so lightly that its failure would not spoil it."
I love this SO MUCH. I'm reminded of a great book I read a few years ago called The Art of Gathering. (And now I'm off to order Leah's book.)
I live in a small town where there's not a lot of interesting things going on. There are interesting people though (some, lol), and my husband and I decided that we'll need to have more parties if we are to be able to stand staying here. I love hosting, and I'm a good host. But I'm always tempted to do just what you wrote (and what The Art of Gathering talks about too) and just sort of make sure it all "goes well," instead of being more intense and intentional about what (and who) the party is for.
All to say, I'm inspired. Thanks!
Leah’s book is very readable/actionable. She always says she wants you to think in terms of what you can do in the next 2 weeks and to put the book down before you’re done and get to hosting your first thing.
Again, what I like about her approach is it’s malleable enough to fit your personality and community but thoughtful enough that the events will really have some substance and value.
I love it. Just ordered!
Also I feel like my original comment sounds super snobby. I definitely desire to host more than "parties" with "interesting people." *eye roll at myself* I'm not a snobby person... I'm just *really* bored with where I live and that came out when I was writing that comment;)
Another vote for the art of gathering. somebody told me about this book 2 years ago and it completely revolutionized the way that I think about planning any kind of event. One thing the author of that book says is that 90% of what makes an event successful is the planning that goes in before hand.
I also learned some valuable lessons about hosting and hospitality from working in youth ministry. We used to teach youth that service is sometimes exhausting/stressful/painful for the one who serves… Sometimes that’s just the price of serving. Not always though. We recently hosted a gathering for our friends and it was a little bit exhausting but as time elapses from the event, the more grateful that I am that we made it happen and brought these people together.
One last thought to share—there was a fantastic post going around here at Thanksgiving about leaning into the drama instead of treating your friends and family as if they were disposable. I’ll link to it since I found it super helpful just with staying motivated to continue organizing in real life gatherings with the people we know. https://substack.com/home/post/p-152263331
Thanks for this post, Ben! I enjoyed it very much as well as Leah‘s book.
Instead of "project" I go by this line from Father Brown: "Like a true philosopher, Flambeau had no aim in his holiday; but, like a true philosopher, he had an excuse. He had a sort of half purpose, which he took just so seriously that its success would crown the holiday, but just so lightly that its failure would not spoil it."
SHEESH; good write,